


Drowning Hearts Keeps Us Here

by andquitefrankly



Series: Do or Do Not [4]
Category: Iron Man - All Media Types, The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types, Thor (Movies)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Future, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, M/M, Ugh, also tcolo is still blocked, but now that they're all grown up are all miscommunicating, does that even make sense?, i'm going to stop talking now, i'm gonna put that in there, idk - Freeform, iron man somewhat compliant, loki and tony are still crazy about each other, part three of dodn, prepare to clutch at your heart you're so sad
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-07-02
Updated: 2015-04-29
Packaged: 2018-02-07 02:25:57
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 9
Words: 12,664
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1881597
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/andquitefrankly/pseuds/andquitefrankly
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>PART III OF DODN SERIES. It's been years since Tony and Loki have so much as spoken to one another. Grown men with their own companies to run, how can they be expected to be civil? That is until Tony is kidnapped and upon his return wants to make a break into the energy business. Except that's Loki's niche. Perhaps a broken teen romance can make it's way back. Or maybe they'll realize they were never meant to be at all.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Begin Anew

They broke up a week before Tony's 21st birthday.

At his dad's funeral.

Or it would have been  _at_  the funeral if Loki had actually shown up, which honestly was why they broke up in the first place. Tony had called Loki and demanded an answer, a reason – anything – as to why he didn't come.

Loki had promised that night Tony called him, drunk off his ass, that he'd be there. He was going to hop on the first plane he could, but that didn't happen because Laufey needed Loki to come to a board meeting, and so Loki swore that he would be there for the funeral.

But the funeral came and no Loki. Tony stood there in a too tight suit, accepting condolences from people who knew his father better than he did, hearing stories of what a great businessman, inventor, scientist he was.

And they expected him to stand up there and talk about what a great father he was too.

He had written a speech – Obie approved – and as he stood in front of those people, those hanger-ons, the rich assholes and gold diggers, the over privileged and members of the board, he flipped. It was no doubt a mixture of grief and harrowing anger at the lack of a certain someone that made him throw his speech away half way through it.

"I can't do this," Tony interrupted himself, much to the surprise of those present. "My dad is dead. The great Howard Stark. But you know what. The guy was a major asshole. How was he as a father? Basically the worst fucking father possible. I've hidden my greatest inventions from him because he was a giant asshat. Would it have made him proud of me for once? Maybe, who knows. But would he have taken those ideas and branded Stark Industries on it? Most definitely."

And that's when Obadiah stepped forward and led Tony away, telling everyone he was still in shock.

Shock.

Shock was realizing that despite all promises, the one person you were depending on the most failed you.

The fight that followed the call from Loki some hours later was heinous and that night Tony went to sleep a single man.

The following morning he regretted his actions, his words, but he was too stubborn and so was Loki. A perfect friendship and a strong relationship fell to tatters, just like that.

But that was years ago. If asked, Tony couldn't recall his high school years, or even college. That was all so long ago.

* * *

FROM A RECORDING, NOT TO BE DUPLICATED:

6/27/2016

LOKI RUSHES OUT OF A CAFÉ, A LAPTOP BAG OVER HIS SHOULDER AND A FROZEN COFFEE IN HAND. HE IGNORES THE PAPPARAZI FOLLOWING HIM. THEIR WORDS ARE A GARBLED TOGETHER BUT ALL REFERENCE A CERTAIN PHOTOGRAPH.

HE REACHES HIS CAR AND WRENCHES THE DOOR OPEN. HE GLARES AT THE NEAREST CAMERA.

LOKI: I understand that you're currently having a slow news day, but perhaps you should bother someone else. I'm late for class.

REPORTER: Are the rumors of your sexuality true?

LOKI'S LOOK BECOMES DEADLIER.

LOKI: I'm gay, yes. I don't see you proclaiming your heterosexuality from the mountaintops and I don't see why you insist I must. I like men. But I also like Tolkien, I don't see you making a big deal of that. Now go cover something important, like how homophobic this country is.

HE SLIDES INTO HIS CAR AND DRIVES AWAY.

* * *

AN EXCERPT FROM A ROLLING STONES ARTICLE:

10/5/2016

**It's widely known that you and Loki Löfgren –**

Odinson. He's not a huge fan of Löfgren. Sorry. Sorry. Yeah continue.

**Loki Odinson are close friends. In recent months he's come out as gay.**

What's the question? Did I know? Of course I knew, he – he was very honest and open with me, just as I was with him. Does it bother me? Absolutely not. Loki's a great, amazing guy – and his sexuality is a part of who he is, but it doesn't define him, you know.

**Well you stole that question right out of my mouth.**

I've been doing these for a while now.

**You're also quite the ladies man. Just last night you were seen at a club with the star of the popular soap, "Days of Our Lives." This is quite a change for you, considering up until a few months ago you were happily in a relationship. What happened? Can you tell us about that?**

Yeah. Three years, I believe. I wasn't particularly counting. But that relationship petered out, but hey, I'm twenty one years old. I'm way too young to think that I can have a happily ever after so early in my life. Live and learn. You gotta work for good things, right?

**And speaking of good things, Stark Industries is booming!**

Yes, Stane is quite pleased, and my new car is evidence of my own happiness. We also just renewed our contract with the military so you know our boys are getting the best weapons money can buy to keep us safe at home. It's the Stark quality with the Tony Stark tech. I've got big things planned.

* * *

**Thirteen Years Later**

"I hear what you're saying, but why do  _I_  have to be there again?" Tony asked as Happy pulled up in front of the theatre. Pepper sat beside him, inspecting him before he made his grand entrance. "I don't even like ballet."

Pepper bit back a sigh, feeling a headache beginning right at her temples. She straightened Tony's tie, saying, "You're the troupe sponsor."

"Girl scouts?"

"Why do I put up with you," Pepper mumbled, reaching over her boss and opening the door.

Tony turned his head with a grin. "Cause I'm so damn sexy."

She shoved his face away. "Behave," were her parting words as Tony stepped out of the car, switching on his public persona, waving at the spectators and smiling at the cameras. Pepper shook her head as Happy drove off. She was looking forward to a night off.

* * *

Tony did not sleep throughout the entire performance. He stayed awake for like fifteen minutes before dozing off. A true record for him. Though he did wake up for a drink during intermission.

He woke with a start to the sound of riotous applause. He stood, and with equal fervor, joined in, hooting and hollering. As the curtain closed for the last time, Tony plopped back in his seat and waited for the theatre to empty.

He smiled politely at the matrons who shared his box as they waddled away. Wasn't he rich enough for his own private box?

Tony fiddled with his playbill, looking through the images of the dancers and noting to himself which ones he was going to take to bed later that night. Got to love opening night.

As he looked up and glanced across the stream of people fighting their way out of the theatre, he caught the eye of Loki, who sat in the box across the way.

He froze. Eyes glued to the one man he'd been avoiding most of his adult life, Tony felt his palms grow moist and his heart beat faster. Casual bump ins at galas and parties, a smile for the cameras side by side; that Tony could handle. An intimate stare down, not so much.

His phone suddenly went off and eye contact was broken as Tony cursed under his breath, reading the text Happy sent him.

**Waiting outside boss :-)  
\- Happy**

Tony rolled his eyes and tucked his phone back into his pocket, looking back up in search of Loki, and found him being led out by some tall, handsome, athletic guy with black hair who had his hands all over him. Loki laughed at something the man said, pressing a kiss to his neck and Tony stood up and stormed out, shoving people out of his way in a rush to get to his car.

Happy looked up from a game on his Stark phone and smiled pleasantly at Tony through the rearview mirror.

"You're early, boss," Happy said, putting the car in drive. "We'll actually make it to the party on time."

"Home," Tony ordered. Happy gave Tony a questioning look but nodded.

* * *

"What's wrong, Loki?" Namor asked as he wrapped his arm around Loki's waist, nuzzling his face into his neck. "Didn't you like the ballet?"

Loki watched the valet walk towards his car. How many handsy couples had the valet had to deal with this past hour alone? "I'm fine," Loki responded, stepping out of Namor's reach, handing a five to the valet. "Get in, we don't want to be late."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WOAH! Look who's back! So sorry for the lateness. July isn't end of May at all. But i got it done! Life update: moved to LA, got an apartment, still don't have internet :( and am now job searching! I'm going to try to update weekly, don't know how likely that is. But hey, i've got a lovely beta, agentromvnoff (on tumblr) so now that i'm "reporting" to someone maybe I will actually do things on time like i say i will.
> 
> So this fic takes place in "the future!" So i get to make up future stuff (okay not really the not so distant future is going to be a lot like now). Also it's going to be a bit of "Iron Man" in here cause i love arc reactor Tony. Yup. So buckle up, cause it's gonna be a bumpy ride. :)
> 
> Aardvark!


	2. Chillax Man

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Smiling at the flight attendant, Tony sat back in his seat and closed his eyes, enjoying the solitude a private jet brings. Here on his plane, he knew where things lay. There were no surprises, no sudden flits of panic.

US WEEKLY – 5/03/2029

Things sure seem to be heating up between Löfgren Corp VP, Loki Odinson,  and the three time Olympic swimming gold medalist, Namor McKenzie. The two were spotted at a performance of Giselle and boy were they cozy. Loki Odinson’s flitted from man to man since coming out in 2016. And this being his longest relationship to date, one can’t help but wonder, is this love?

* * *

“I hear what you’re saying, Pep, but I have to severely disagree,” Tony told her, mouth pursed together, conjoined fingers tapping against his bottom lip.

“Really?” Pepper replied, a hand perched on her hip. She could see past his bravado better than anyone else and right now, he was all bark, no bite. “Because you weren’t having a bit of a freak out two days ago?”

Tony shook his head. “Nope. Wasn’t me. Must have been some other good looking multi-billionaire,” he told her, shrugging his shoulders. He plastered on a smile and winked. She threw her hands up in the air, giving up. If she couldn’t talk sense into the man, then frankly, why bother trying.

Smiling at the flight attendant, Tony sat back in his seat and closed his eyes, enjoying the solitude a private jet brings. Here on his plane, he knew where things lay. There were no surprises, no sudden flits of panic.

Vegas, baby.

He was going to forget all about the ballet and drown himself in wine, women, and gambling.

* * *

Loki shoved Namor off of him, not caring if he woke the other man. Namor slept on, pulling the bed sheets tighter around him.

Padding barefoot to the balcony, Loki pulled on a pair of worn pajama bottoms, sneaking his pack of cigarettes out from under the English ivy and chrysanthemums sitting in the corner. He kept telling himself he was going to quit, but found himself with a cigarette in his mouth more times than he could count.

It got to the point where he didn’t see the point in trying. A perfect allegory to his life.

Exhaling, Loki watched the smoke circle round his head and slowly drift off. He glanced back at his sleeping lover and wondered how he got here. There was a time when he knew exactly what he wanted out of life.

Loki squashed his cigarette and flicking it over the balcony, watching it fall the fifteen stories to the pavement. A kiss was placed on his neck, hands placed on his hips. “You left me all alone,” Namor murmured into Loki’s ear.

“I needed some air,” Loki replied, lighting another cigarette. Namor wrinkled his nose, pulling the cigarette from between Loki’s lips and throwing it on the ground. “I was smoking that.”

“Don’t be a grump,” Namor said. He stretched, leaning his naked body against the railing. “What’s got you all worked up?”

Loki rolled his eyes. “You’re flashing the neighbors,” he said.

Namor smirked, casting his gaze on the high rise buildings around him. It’d be a long shot for anyone to see him great detail. He sat up on the rail, mooning the whole world, pulling Loki close to him. “Let them see.”

* * *

LOKI ODINSON’S MIDNIGHT RENDEZVOUZ

5/08/2029 7:41 AM PDT

IMAGE CAPTION: Looks like a full moon tonight.

Last night Namor gave Manhattan a full view of just what’s under that speedo, and may we say, Loki is one lucky man. And if we go by the other photographs taken by a neighbor, he knows it.

* * *

Rhodey pulled Tony to the side of the casino while Happy cashed in his chips. He should have known that Tony was going to blow him off and leave him standing at the podium like a complete dork. But he had had faith that Tony would hear his good buddy was going to present him with the Apogee award and actually show up.

No dice. Literally.

“Chillax, Rhodey,” Tony told him, lightly punching him in the arm. “Look, I’ve got the thing, right?” Tony held up the gaudy award.

“What is this, 2004? Gonna play your Avril Lavigne albums for me?” Rhodey mocked. Tony burst out laughing. “Seriously, man,” Rhodey continued. “You alright?”

“Woah, yeah,” Tony reassured him. “Did Pepper call you?”

Rhodey shook his head. “Nah, you promised that the next time we came to Vegas we’d go see Cirque de Solei, and instead of watching acrobats, I find you rolling dice with some babes.”

“Did you want babes too?”

“Get out of here,” Rhodey replied, shoving Tony away. They shook hands and Rhodey watched Tony hand his award to a man dressed as Caesar.

As far as Rhodey could tell, Tony wasn’t acting any differently than normal. Sure he stood him up, but that was not new at all.  Of course, Pepper practically lived with Tony and she’d be more likely to know whether something was up or not.

He went back to his hotel room and packed his bag, turning on the television to the news, Tony’s smiling face as he discussed the honor of receiving his award staring back at him. Rhodey snorted. That fucking asshole.

“In other news, VP of Löfgren Corp, Loki Odinson met with Indian Prime Minister Chandrani Desai to discuss – ” Rhodey shut off the TV, not even bothering to look.

Loki was all over the news lately, whether with his and his new boyfriend’s escapades or Löfgren Corp converting entire nations to their new green energy plan. Rhodey picked up the phone and dialed Pepper.

“Pepper Potts,” she answered.

“Where’s Tony?”

There was a tired sigh. “Guess.”

* * *

Tony removed himself from – Chelsea? Carla? – his lover’s embrace and made his way down to his workshop, locking the doors behind him.

“Good morning, sir,” Jarvis greeted him, starting up Tony’s computers, holographic images lighting up around his master. “It’s a comfortable 69 degrees Fahrenheit outside. Your coffee is being brewed. Would you like today’s newspaper?”

Tony happily snatched up his coffee before Dummy could try handing it over. He patted the robot on the head, setting himself onto a rolly chair and sliding to his computer. “Just give me the highlights,” Tony said, gulping down his coffee. “And give me a diagnostic on the Roadster, I’m feeling in a fixit mood.”

“Of course, sir.”

Setting down his mug, Tony rolled himself over to his car, swatting Butterfingers away as he began digging around in his tool chest. Beside him was a hologram of his beloved vehicle. Dummy whirred behind him, holding up the empty coffee mug.

“There was a fire in Phoenix last night, killed three people,” Jarvis informed Tony.

“Skip the depressing bits, Jarvis,” Tony grunted, prying the mug from Dummy’s claw.

Jarvis scanned through the news, picking out the bits and pieces that might interest his creator. “Mr. Odinson the younger met with Indian Prime Minister – ”

“And the Loki bits,” Tony ordered harshly. “How many times I gotta tell ya?” he grumbled, yanking a socket wrench away from Butterfingers.

“Yes, sir.”

“And play some Avril Lavigne,” Tony grinned. “I feel like chillaxing.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> oh ho ho ho. Wonder what's gonna happen next? Sorry for the delay but my beta, [agentromvnoff,](http://agentromvnoff.tumblr.com) was sick :( Let's all hope she gets better! Send her goodwill and good vibes! She deserves it.  
> Can I say, the amount of excitement you all have for this part of the series makes me SUPER EXCITED! I was already excited but man, you're all awesome! Hugs and kisses and brownies for everyone!  
> I'm really enjoying writing the news articles. Can you tell? I have a lot of images in my head and no actual skill, but yeah. Just imagine what all those pics and stuff would look like. You don't know how much I laughed at the mental image of Namor's ass hanging off a balcony railing. Basically amazing. I know. I hope to have a chapter up next week! But we'll see ;)  
> Also, for interested parties, you can find me on tumblr: [andquitefrankly (main)](http://andquitefrankly.tumblr.com) and [whatwewhisper (writing)](http://whatwewhisper.tumblr.com) if you want to find out about updates and whatnot on the whole fic thing or just want to be spammed with a shit ton of Free!. Also [twitter](https://twitter.com/ButQuiteFrankly) if you want to hear my ravings. That is all. 
> 
> Aardvark!


	3. Tony Stark's Wildest Moments: A Memorial

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tony couldn’t be dead. He was too infuriatingly stubborn to die out there. He was probably found by some nice family and currently gorging himself on baklava. He’d be found and back in his mansion before you know it.

Pepper stumbled into Tony’s foyer, cursing her five inch heels as she  tossed them aside, clutching tightly to the bag of Chinese takeout she felt only partially guilty buying. Hey, her boss was out of town. She should be allowed to lounge around his fancy mansion, eat Chinese food, and watch her favorite rom-coms.

“Good evening, Miss Potts,” Jarvis greeted her, turning on the lights to her preference. She and Jarvis were more or less in cahoots when the boss was out of town. Take out and movies.  


She set the bag down on the living room coffee table, throwing herself onto the comfy sofa. And they said money couldn’t buy happiness. _Yes, sir_ _,_ she thought to herself, opening a can of Coke, she made a good life decision befriending Tony Stark.

“Jarvis, forget I have a diet,” Pepper told him. “And make that extra buttery popcorn.”

“Forgotten, and of course, Miss Potts,” Jarvis responded.

Yup. This was the good life.

Half a carton of Beef Lo Mein and three egg rolls later, Pepper found herself drifting off. It was a shame because she was going to watch _Sixteen Candles_ next and she loved _Sixteen Candles_. John Hughes certainly knew how to make a movie. 

But of course, it was when she was close to sleep that her phone went off. Pepper groaned, swatting at where the ringing was coming from. The other end of the couch was too far to go looking for it. “Jarvis, make it stop,” she groaned.

“It’s Colonel Rhodes, Ma’am,” Jarvis informed her.

“Fine,” she grumbled. “Answer it.”

The ringing stopped and her movie was replaced with an image of James. He looked a little worse for wear but nothing too serious. Pepper gently ran her fingers around her mouth. She didn’t want him to see the grease of sloppy eating.

The only reason Rhodey would be calling would be if Tony did something. But what that man could get up to in Syria, she would never know. “What has he done now?” Pepper asked, sitting up. “Because if he starts another war, I swear to God, I am going to kill him. I’ve already spent most of my life fearing the Middle East.”

“He’s missing,” Rhodey told her, feeling it was best not to beat around the bush.

“What!”

* * *

“ – reported missing yesterday morning after his – ”

“ – was in Syria for a weapon demonstration. Twelve American soldier were killed in the – ”

“ – claims it to be the work of Syrian nationalists. Protest has arisen in the past seven years against American occupation – ”

“ – all realize is that we are in Syria to protect the Syrian people. Stark’s weapons aren’t being used against them in any way, and frankly, I don’t – ”

“ – army is investigating the – ”

“ – ber 46 on our list: BJ’s from the president’s daughter. Back in – ”

Namor huffed, shutting off the TV. “There’s nothing good on,” he complained, tossing the remote aside. “I’m gonna go for a swim, babe.” He rose, placing a kiss on Loki’s temple and strutting out of the room.

Loki didn’t even react, frozen on the couch. Once Namor’s steps were out of hearing range, he leaned over the coffee table and grabbed the remote. He took a breath and turned on the television.

The channel remained on VH1 where they were counting down Tony Stark’s 50 wildest moments. Were they memorializing him already? He wasn’t dead. He was missing. Two completely different meanings.

It didn’t help that every channel was also discussing the disappearance of Tony Stark. He was attacked. People were dead. Chances were Stark had been blown into tiny bits, scattered across the desert to be picked up by vultures.

“Oh God,” Loki choked out, turning off the television and running to the balcony where he could get fresh air. That’s what he needed. He leaned his head against the railing, panting harshly.

Tony couldn’t be dead. He was too infuriatingly stubborn to die out there. He was probably found by some nice family and currently gorging himself on baklava. He’d be found and back in his mansion before you know it.

Yes. That was very much possible. Loki stood up and stared down at the people down below. He had to believe that. He had to.

* * *

Small bursts of light flickered over his eyelids, painting a Jackson Pollock into his retinas . There was a bone deep pain in his chest, as if a hand was clutching his heart.

He woke with a gasp, images of fire and the sound of bombs crawling out from his nightmares. Tony stared up bewilderedly at the ceiling above him, blinking in confusion. When did he redecorate to rock formations?

Suddenly he felt a pressure at his nose and looked on in blurry fascination as he pulled a tube out of it. There was some discomfort, but nothing like the pain in his chest.

Turning his head, Tony spotted a cup and prayed to whatever gods there were that it had something in there. Like water. Or whiskey. He wouldn’t say no to alcohol at a time like this. Then again, maybe it was the alcohol that had given him this horrible hangover.

He reached over with clumsy fingers and barely grazed the cup, tilting it so it fell to the ground. Frustrated, he leaned back in his cot and tried to muster up some strength to at least grab the jug behind it.

In his dedication, Tony didn’t notice the man sitting beside him, playing a game of dominoes. “Be careful,” the man responded, not taking his eyes off his game.

Tony jolted back in surprise, his breathing getting shallower. He tried to focus his eyes on the man, but found he couldn’t. It was too dark, and his eyes felt like they were caked in sand.

He struggled once again, arm reaching, body tilting slightly, but found himself being held back, as if being pulled.

“Be careful,” the man repeated, setting a domino in place and finally looking up at Tony. “You’ll kill yourself.”

It was then that Tony noticed the wire protruding from his sternum. He scrambled at his chest, tearing open his shirt and staring in disbelief at the object in his chest. He poked and prodded, gasping out in pain. How had this happened? What horrible nightmare was this?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I feel like updates might be every two weeks, just cause I'm working on another fic, and beating my brains out trying to figure out what to right for the frostiron bang. it's horrible because I keep thinking up bagginshield fics. Alas, tis my life.
> 
> So this takes place in the future, obviously the US ain't gonna be in war against Afghanistan so I chose Iran, but occupying Syria. So that's what's up with all of that. :)
> 
> If I haven't responded to reviews, I apologize. I'm all frazzled over here. But know that your support and excitement is really spurring me on. So my power went out yesterday and blew out my laptop cord so this is all the author's note I have for you before my computer dies.
> 
> Aardvark!


	4. In the Cave

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “How’d I get here?”
> 
> “You ask a lot of questions,” Yinsen said, setting his bowl aside. He took off his glasses and rubbed at a dirty spot on the lens. Satisfied, he put the spectacles back on. “Know you are not safe, and I am not your jailer.”

_**INTERLUDE** _

**June 7, 2013**

“One more picture,” Frigga insisted as her boys groaned.

She’d been taking pictures of the boys since they woke, waking them with a bright flash. Loki and Thor humored her most of the morning, but all the other families were already heading to their cars while Frigga positioned them once more, fussing with their graduation gowns.

“I’ll take it,” Odin volunteered and Frigga quickly switched positions, handing off the camera as they passed one another.

“I can take it,” Tony piped up from where he was standing between Loki and Thor, holding up his arm. “You should have one of the whole family,” he explained, already halfway to Odin.

Frigga grabbed his arm, pulling him back. “You’re family,” she said. “Now smile.”

The picture Odin took had a dumbfounded Tony amidst smiling Odinsons. Frigga had the picture enlarged and placed in her living room.

* * *

** May 11, 2029 – Day 1 **

“What the hell did you do to me?”

Shrapnel in his chest. The walking dead. An electromagnet shoved into his chest cavity. He was lucky to be alive.

Tony sat with his head between his legs, feeling the soft tug of the battery some feet behind him. His breaths were coming quick and sharp, and there was a pounding in his head. Flashes of smoke and fire played foggily in his mind. Screams and yells of the soldiers that were tasked to protect him, shellfire ringing in his ears.

“Eat,” the man said, placing a sickening plate of beans beside him. The man sat across from him, neatly tucking into his meal.

“Who’re you?” Tony asked.

“You may call me Yinsen,” he answered. He smiled at Tony. “We met once, you know. At a conference in Berlin.”

Tony tried to get a better look at Yinsen, but couldn’t remember him for his life. Yinsen waved away his preoccupation, taking another spoonful into his mouth. “Where are we?” Tony asked.

“That is the question, isn’t it?” Yinsen replied, pointing at Tony’s bowl. “Eat.”

He picked up his bowl but Tony couldn’t stand the sight of the food. He was trapped in a cave with a man named Yinsen. He had an electromagnet shoved into his chest cavity. Eating wasn’t exactly on the forefront of his mind.

“How’d I get here?”

“You ask a lot of questions,” Yinsen said, setting his bowl aside. He took off his glasses and rubbed at a dirty spot on the lens. Satisfied, he put the spectacles back on. “Know you are not safe, and I am not your jailer.”

Just then, a distant sound of doors unlocking reached Tony’s ears. He looked towards the end of the cave and saw the exit. All this time chatting and he could have tried to run out those door. He could have been long gone.

A hand tugged on Tony’s arm, raising him up from the dirty cot on which he sat. “Do as I do,” Yinsen instructed, his teasing eyes turning serious. He raised his hands to his head and Tony could do nothing but watch him numbly as a group of men entered through the iron doors.

“Those are my guns,” Tony blurted in disbelief. No doubt about it. Those were the newly designed Stark Carbine X7, a redesign of the M4 Carbine: lighter, further range, more powerful. Only a few had been made, still in the testing phase. And yet there they were, in the hands of his enemies. “Those are my guns!” Tony yelled, anger seeping through him.

Yinsen moved Tony’s arms in the appropriate position, placing his hands behind his head once more as Tony fumed beside him.

* * *

** May 17, 2029 – Day 6 **

The freezing water burned as it entered his lungs, his face seemingly numb to the temperature until he was pulled back out. The heat of the cave was too much, too warm, too much, as Tony spit out water and tried for another breath.

But he was already being shoved down into the tub, his eyes seeing nothing but murky water. He fought and fought, but his struggling did nothing but amuse his torturers.

He was pulled out once more and thrown backwards, the ever familiar pain at his chest reminding him this wasn’t a dream. Shoving the car battery into his hands, they pulled him to his feet and pulled a dirty sack over his face.

They pushed him with the barrel of their guns – Stark guns, he reminded himself – and Tony did as he was told, walking wherever they wanted.

He stopped when he felt hot air on his skin, light streams piercing through his covering. Then the sack was pulled away and Tony stumbled backwards, his sense coming back alive, eyes blinking at the hot sun.

Tony was shoved forward once more, following his captor as he spotted missiles, guns, rifles, carbines, assault weapons; _Stark_ imprinted on all of them. His fingers tightened around the battery in his hands.

His captor spoke and suddenly Yinsen was at his side. “He wants to know what you think.”

Tony looked around once more. “I think I have a fan,” Tony remarked.

* * *

** May 22, 2029 – Day 11 **

The Jericho missile was a work of a genius, if Tony was being modest. As he had said during his presentation, a good weapon only needed to be used once.

Once was enough.

Tony stared into the fire, cold breath swirling round his head. Yinsen sat down beside him. “Well?”

“Well what?” Tony asked, pulling his borrowed coat closer, burrowing his face into it.

“How do you want to die?” Yinsen asked.

Tony let out a mirthless laugh. Death. That was the only option, no matter the choice. They could kill him now, torturously and slow, or quick and painless. They could kill him after he built them the Jericho. A quick bullet to the head as a thank you.

Would they throw out his body for the world to find, or would his end remain a mystery, out there among other great men and women. No one really knowing how he spent his last moments, in a dank cave with an Iranian doctor.

“With a bottle of gin and a sexy lady in my lap.”

Yinsen grinned. “Women are in a bit of short supply.”

Tony glanced upwards and took in the cameras. They were always on, always watching. “I can’t build the Jericho,” Tony said, tilting his head down so they couldn’t read his lips. Not that they could. No one there spoke a lick of English.

“It’s your legacy,” Yinsen replied. “Fire and pain, everything you worked for, in the hands of those monsters. Murderers.”

“I’m not going to give them more,” Tony shot back. “So they’ll kill me, big whoop. Rather now than later.”

“You’re giving up,” Yinsen declared, standing up to stretch. “The great Tony Stark giving up before the fight.” He shook his head. “Never thought I’d see the day.”

* * *

** May 30, 2029 – Day 20 **

“That is no Jericho missile,” Yinsen stated, leaning over Stark’s shoulder as the small round device glowed blue.

For days he had done as his fellow prisoner had asked, taking apart missiles, heating steel, fetching food and water. Anything to assist him in the creation of a weapon. Anything to buy time.

Stark stared down at his creation a small grin on his lips. “It’s a miniature arc reactor,” he said. “Future of green technology, but don’t let Löfgren Corp know. They’ve been after this for months. The big one powers our factory back home.” With a sniff Stark looked at his fellow captee. “It’s going to keep the shrapnel out of my heart.”

“What can it generate?” Yinsen asked, slightly awed by the genius. His best design was an electromagnet powered to a car battery. What Stark created was not even in the realm of possibility.

“Three gigajoule’s per second,” Stark answered immediately.

That could power his heart for fifty lifetimes. Yinsen said so and Stark’s grin grew just a little wider. “Or something real big for fifteen minutes.

* * *

Later that night, after Tony had showed Yinsen his plans – a metal suit – for escape and they discussed the odds for failure, the two men lay in their individual cots.

“How long have you been here?” Tony asked. “How long have you been their prisoner?”

Yinsen shrugged, eyes staring vacantly at the cave roof. “Sometimes it feel like years, other times, minutes. I’ve lost count,” he confessed.

“My birthday’s the 29th,” Tony revealed. He patted his chest where the arc reactor lay snugly inside him. The brief moment of exchange from car battery to a more travel friendly power source had been painful, and it still took some adjusting. Either way, Tony was sure he’d never feel comfortable laying on his stomach. “If it hasn’t passed.”

“Happy birthday,” Yinsen said.

Tony laughed. “Yeah, happy birthday.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HEY! Okay, so sorry about the late posting. But my lovely beta has moved across the pond to attend school, and I didn't want to post without her input because she is amazing! Idk how soon the next chapter will be up due to personal life reasons. But chances are I'll have it up in the 2 week time frame I've promised to update to.
> 
> Have I mentioned TCOLO is no longer blocked on here? Because it is no longer blocked! So you can read it to your heart's content!
> 
> ALSO! There's this really cool thing on tumblr called the frostiron review fest and you should check it out, especially if you are a marvel writer or read a lot of marvel fics! I'm literally just signal boosting because I think it's great that unappreciated writers/stories are gonna get some lovin'. So if you know of a fantastic fic that needs love you should check it out. And you get perks! (like beautiful frostiron art of your choosing) I'm literally compiling a list and can't choose which one I want to get love first. *sigh*
> 
> I'm done doing a commercial :) I'm going to go try to write my frostiron bang story. *cries in despair* why is writing so hard? why i choose this as career? why also make it my hobby?
> 
> Aardvark! hasta la laters (my mom is glaring at me from 1300 miles away for destroying my ancestral tongue. i can feel it.)


	5. Trust in the SS Minnow

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The front door opened and a handsome woman in her late 50s answered the door. Her blonde hair was streaked with grey but Pepper couldn’t help but feel she was just as lively now as she was as a younger woman. “Loki!” she cried, pulling him into the house, pressing kisses to his face. “You look terrible. Have you been eating?”
> 
> “Mom,” Loki complained. “I’m fine.”

**June 3, 2029 – Day 24**

Pepper sat stoically as Obadiah Stane and the rest of the board discussed what to do about the missing Tony Stark. They unanimously came to a decision: declare him dead.

Her chair toppled over as she stood up, hands fisted atop the conference table. Every head turned to her as she took a deep breath. “Tony is not dead,” she told them in clipped tones.

“Pepper,” Obadiah stepped in, rubbing a hand against his temple. He looked just as tired as Pepper felt. “We’ve got to look at this objectively.”

“You know he isn’t dead!” she shouted.

Obadiah stood and put a hand to her lower back. “Let’s speak outside for a minute,” he suggested, leading her out of the room and into the hall. He waved his hand at the secretary on duty who nodded and quickly left, giving them as much privacy as she could.

“He’s not dead, Obadiah,” Pepper repeated. She was undeniably certain of that fact. It wasn’t simply denial as everyone in that room certainly thought.

They hadn’t found a body. There were no limbs strewn about; no trace of blood. All they found was his Starkphone burnt on one side, Rhodey’s contact information on the screen. He knew he was in trouble and he tried to get help.

If their soldiers had been attacked simply for blood’s sake, Tony would have certainly died, not gone missing. Tony Stark was a worldwide name. He was probably being held hostage and every day she didn’t get a ransom video just increased the worry.

He could be living in a goat herder’s house, suffering from amnesia and dying from an infected wound. Who knew what that man was up to. But Pepper wasn’t going to give up searching for him. He wasn’t dead. Not yet.

 “He probably isn’t,” Obadiah admitted, placing his hands on his waist, just under his coat. “But without proof, no one in that room is going to believe it. There’s no trace of him, Pepper. Not even a fingernail.”

“You have the most pull,” Pepper argued. “Can’t you make them see reason?”

“There’s only one of me,” Obadiah said. “I could probably delay the declaration…”

“I will find him,” Pepper reassured him. “I will find proof.”

Obadiah smiled sadly at her. “Not gonna give up, are you?”

“I can’t,” Pepper affirmed. “Give me a few more months. That’s all I ask.”

She wasn’t the only one who hadn’t given up. Rhodey felt highly responsible, and she had gotten plenty of phone calls from their old friends. Obadiah was still certain Tony was alive and kicking. She had people and resources on her side. She just needed time.

“Fine,” Obadiah relented. “I’ll give you until August. Any longer and I’ll get booted off the board.”

Pepper smiled out of relief. “Thanks,” she said, watching him go back to fight the board members.

She straightened her skirt and checked her makeup. The ever reliable Pepper had a job to do.

* * *

There was a timid knock at his door and Loki looked up from the proposal on his desk. Which was quite honestly a godsend. If he had to read one more ill written, idiotic idea on how to create an inexpensive and long lasting power source using beetle dung or whatever nonsense these people came up with, he was going to rip out his hair.

“Come in,” Loki ordered, throwing the proposal into the waste basket. He was going to have to get that emptied rather soon. It was beginning to overflow.

His secretary, a petite woman with a soft voice, stepped in and cleared her throat. Loki raised an eyebrow in question. She nodded and said, “A Miss Potts is here to see you, sir.”

“Miss Potts?” Loki asked. Ah. Well then. “Send her in.”

The woman nodded and some seconds later Pepper Potts was standing in his office. Loki stood, offering a her a seat which she gratefully took. “Hello, Loki.”

“Miss Potts,” Loki greeted. “This is a surprise.”

“Is it?”

“Of course,” Loki returned. He sat back down and ran a hand through his hair. “Are you thirsty? Tea, coffee, water?”

Pepper placed her hands on the edge of his desk and Loki shut his mouth, leaning back in his chair. “I’m here for Tony.”

Silence filled the room. Loki sucked on his bottom lip, taking in the woman before him. What on earth did she think he could possibly do? “That’s a no to the drink then?”

“Don’t tell me you think he’s dead,” Pepper shouted. “He’s alive. He’s out there.”

“Please, Miss Potts,” Loki said quietly, devoid of emotion. Pepper sat back in her seat, taken back by his calmness. “I don’t know what you think I can do,” Loki continued. “But I assure you, it is very little.”

“You loved him,” Pepper stated and Loki looked away, choosing to stare out at the skyscrapers in view of his window. “And I know you two were stupid enough to have some secret code or, or, or a sign or some stupid gadget with linked brainwaves. I need to find him. We need to find him.”

Loki walked to his office door and pulled it open. Pepper looked back at him, abashed. “I cannot help you, Miss Potts. I’m sorry. But I have a meeting in a few minutes.”

Pepper glared at him as she walked out. “I thought for certain you’d care. I guess I was wrong. I’m not used to that,” she told him, holding her head high despite her dismissal.

A hand grabbed her elbow and Loki leaned in, face sallow. Pepper gasped at how ill he looked. She hadn’t noticed before, but then again, she was blinded by her mission. “I care for Tony much more than you know,” Loki told her. “Come back at eight.”

He let go of her and curtly nodded his head, hiding himself away in his office. It wasn’t until Pepper reached her car that she realized Loki had used present tense when referencing her boss. She laughed under her breath. Tony had always said he was full of surprises.

* * *

** June 4, 2029 – Day 25 **

Pepper was dozing off on Loki’s bed while he was who knows where. She stared up at the Millennium Falcon hanging above her, wondering how long it had been since Loki actually set foot in this room.

She had returned promptly at eight, only to bump into Loki on the elevator. The doors had opened right as he was getting on and Pepper wanted to hoot for joy. Talk about luck.

They had spent the ride in silence, not even dabbling in small talk, which was actually quite nice considering Pepper wasn’t sure what to say.

Even in high school she and he never got along too well. Loki always seemed a bit wary of her. After all, the two of them had started their relationship when Pepper was living it up in France (Tony’s words, not hers), and when she returned Tony was back to his usual self, flirting with her and basically depending on her for everything.

There were a few weeks when Loki and Tony fought about everything and it all stemmed from his insecurity. He was positive Pepper was trying to steal Tony away which couldn’t be further from the truth.

They all made up in the end, but Loki had avoided Pepper as much as possible for fear he’d rip her hair out. That cat fight would not be pleasant at all.

“Where are we going?” Pepper asked as she opened the passenger door to Loki’s car.

“Home,” Loki replied.

Pepper hadn’t said anything, but she was more than surprised to find herself in a familiar town. She really hadn’t gone back after graduating from high school. Even her parents moved to the city, thanks to her hefty salary.

But there was the high school they attended, and the bowling alley Pepper had her first date at. The movie theater with its bright lights stood proudly in the miniscule downtown area, and a fair was open and filled with people, the ferris wheel twinkling in the night sky.

They quickly passed it all and pulled onto a quiet residential street. There houses were relatively large, at least compared to what Pepper had lived in, though smaller than any mansion Tony was accustomed to living.

Loki parked in front of a sweet Tudor Revival. He stepped out of the car and Pepper followed suit, following him up the pathway to the porch. As he rang the doorbell he turned to Pepper and said, “Don’t tell them why you’re here, alright?”

“Where are we?” Pepper asked. She might have stayed quiet for the ride, but now questions were plaguing her mind and she wasn’t sure if she could hold them all in.

The front door opened and a handsome woman in her late 50s answered the door. Her blonde hair was streaked with grey but Pepper couldn’t help but feel she was just as lively now as she was as a younger woman. “Loki!” she cried, pulling him into the house, pressing kisses to his face. “You look terrible. Have you been eating?”

“Mom,” Loki complained. “I’m fine.”

He pulled out of his mother’s embrace and motioned for Pepper to enter. Frigga tutted, seemingly unaware of the woman’s presence. “You’re too thin,” she prattled. “And no doubt refusing to sleep.” She pulled at Loki’s face, poking and prodding as he tried to get away.

It was then that she noticed Pepper standing awkwardly in the hall, trying to suppress a laugh. She didn’t need to get on Loki’s bad side, especially since she really didn’t know what they were doing at his parent’s house.

“Who’s this?”

Pepper offered her hand. “Pepper Potts,” she answered. “It’s a pleasure to meet you Mrs. Odinson.”

Frigga pulled the woman into a hug and kissed her cheeks. “I know exactly who you are,” she said. “Are you hungry? I made a roast.”

“Mother,” Loki cut in, pulling Pepper free from his mother’s hold. “Is all my stuff still in my room or did you pack it up?”

“I haven’t touched your room,” Frigga scolded, sniffing haughtily. “Your father said I ought to convert the rooms into a sewing room or something but then I suggested I convert his study into his new bedroom and that shut him up right quick.”

Loki laughed, kissing his mother on the temple. “We’ll be upstairs.”

He dragged Pepper behind him, the two hearing the faint sounds of Frigga puttering about in the kitchen, no doubt heating up her roast and yelling at Odin that Loki had come for a visit.

“She’s sweet,” Pepper commented as she stepped into Loki’s bedroom. She paused, taking it all in. This was no doubt the room of a teenage Loki. It didn’t look like it aged a day, with LEGOs positioned on shelves, an old computer at the desk. There was signs of removal, such as a TV or a radio. “Wow,” Pepper said.

“Feel free to sit,” Loki told her. “I’ve got to find it.”

She fought sleep an hour later, a good plate of food under her belt that she couldn’t refuse. When she finally stirred it was to find herself alone.

Suddenly the door burst open and Loki came in with an old StarkPad. He held it up triumphantly and sat down beside her.

“What time is it?” she asked, sitting up.

Loki shrugged, powering on the tablet. “Probably 2,” he said. He frowned when it wouldn’t turn on, getting up and looking in his desk drawers.

“What are we doing here, Loki? Tony might have been a fan of the mysterious brooding, but I’m not,” Pepper told him.

Loki rummaged further, pumping his fist in the air as he pulled out a charger. “Remember the first time Stark was kidnapped?”

“His first year at MIT,” Pepper recalled. “Sure, we were all freaking out.”

“Well he and I wanted to make sure it never happened again,” Loki told her, plugging in the StarkPad and sitting cross legged on the floor. “We created a tracking device, one that would be able to be picked up and read from… God I don’t remember how deep,” he prattled on. “Keep in mind we were young and drunk, and we thought injecting tracking chips into our body was a great idea.

“The point was that it could always be read. That we could always be found. That we wouldn’t have to suffer the fear and pain we had when he was missing.” Loki grew silent, staring into the blue glow of the device in his hands.

“If he was in a cave 500 feet deep or in a building with poor reception, he’d be found,” Loki explained. “The tracker would emit a signal, stronger than any radio or satellite wave, that could be picked up by this.” He held up the tablet. “Theoretically speaking.”

“You didn’t test it?” Pepper asked.

Loki chuckled under his breath. “When we woke up, completely hungover, we realized drunk science was kind of dangerous.”

“Will it work?”

“I don’t know. But this is all I’ve got.” He slid through the various pages, finally pressing down on the little app shaped like a ‘J’.

The StarkPad’s light turned red and made a quick download. The light turned back to its blue light tint and spoke.

“Good Evening, Mr. Odinson. How may I be of assistance?”

Loki and Pepper shared a smile. “Hello, Jarvis,” Loki said. “Do you remember how to work project Gilligan?”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is surprisingly long! Or longer than my usual updates! yay! so i hope you enjoyed the loki/pepper interactions. we see a bit of Obie. Next chapter is going to be Tony centric. Also, the board meeting and where Loki lives and works is NYC. I imagine that they grew up in Hudson Valley which is the area above NYC, but not quite upstate NY.  
> also please excuse my bullshit science. ahaha :)
> 
> Yay! Now to go work on other things. (I'M WRITING SO MANY FICS RIGHT NOW. I NEED A JOB SO I CAN STOP.) Stay cool my fine feathered friends.


	6. That 'Can Do' Attitude

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tony couldn’t help but fantasize It’s a Wonderful Life, Tony Stark style. Without him around, everyone would be happier. Pepper, Rhodey, Obie, Loki.
> 
> Everyone would be better off.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TEN THOUSAND YEARS LATER. Sorry guys. Got holed up by my own creations (aka frostiron bang). But I finished, so that'll be up later this month! Yay! I hope the next update won't take a month. It won't, I swear. I will have control over my life.

**June 18, 2029 – Day 39**

“I never said it was accurate,” Loki shouted at Colonel Rhodes, angrily ruffling his hair as his elbows leaned on his knees. Pepper should have known better than to bring the Colonel into their search. He had pleaded. They had never gotten along.

“It’s been over ten years, probably longer,” Loki reminded him. “Jarvis can only upgrade the programming so much without Stark’s input.”

“It’s not very helpful,” Rhodes complained. “We already know he’s in Syria.”

“Then search the whole damn country,” Loki told him, ending the video call. Pepper tutted behind him and Loki ignored her. It was her damn fault anyway.

 Pepper tapped a pen against her lips, her usually pristine clothes, wrinkled and mussed from days of no sleep.  “Was that really necessary?”

“Yes,” Loki snapped. “We explained that project Gilligan wasn’t highly accurate.”

“He just wants to find him,” Pepper sighed.

“We all want to find him,” Loki spat, kicking the coffee table away as he stormed out of the living room.   


* * *

**June 19, 2029 – Day 40**

Tony stared up at the rock ceiling, water rhythmically dripping beside his head. He was so tired. Every day he worked, pretending to build the Jericho missile; every second Tony was certain he’d get found out, his plan discovered and his life –and Yinsen’s – ended.

He wondered if anyone was looking for him. Pepper would no doubt be glad to be rid of him. She could finally live her own life, not babysitting him every second of hers. Maybe she could finally start dating. That’d be nice. She deserved to be pampered.

He turned over in his cot, watching the water droplets splash against the cave floor. Rhodey would probably feel guilty, though technically it was Tony’s own fault. That’d suck. He didn’t want Rhodey to live the rest of his life with a guilty conscious.

Though if he survived, that guilt would become moot. But just the same, Rhodey could stop worrying about him, and that’d be good for him.

Tony couldn’t help but fantasize _It’s a Wonderful Life_ , Tony Stark style. Without him around, everyone would be happier. Pepper, Rhodey, Obie, Loki.

He ran his finger through the puddle. Would Loki be better? If Tony had never waltzed into his life, would Loki be the same man he was now?

Someone else could have taken him by the hand and showed him the wonders of the world. It didn’t have to be Tony. And it wasn’t like Loki was completely unsociable.

It didn’t matter. Everyone would be better off.   


Tony sighed. Everyone except him. He really wanted to live. He sat up in his cot and put his hand to his chest, feeling the hum of the arc reactor embedded in his sternum. The blue light set an eerie glow around the cave and Tony couldn’t help but want to cover it up.

He grabbed a dirty coat and pulled it on, buttoning it quickly, and taking comfort in the lack of light. He knew he’d get used to it eventually, but for now, the arc reactor was a reminder of what he had lost, and would never get back.  


When he escaped, the reactor would still be there, teasing him with memories of this cave, of this feeling of hopelessness. He looked to the rolled up drafts of the metal suit lying hidden behind a giant rock.

Yinsen awoke to the sound of hammering, finding Tony aggressively pounding away at a piece of metal, sparks flying in the air. He wiped the sleep from his eyes with a smile.

“I was sleeping,” he called out.

Tony merely grunted, wiping sweat from his brow. “Sorry ‘bout that, Sleeping Beauty. Inspiration struck.”

“Ah yes,” Yinsen commented. “Muse is a fickle creature.”

* * *

**June 25, 2029 – Day 46**

Loki opened his third pack of cigarettes that week, lighting one  with nervous hands. The month was nearly up and Obie’s deadline was looming closer. They had no proof whatsoever that Tony was still alive.

“Shit,” Loki whispered, throwing his cigarette over the balcony before taking a drag, a hand fisting his shirt. “Fuck!” 

Why was he all torn up about this? Tony was probably dead, eaten by the buzzards. Loki should rejoice. He no longer had to deal with that pompous asshole, constantly interrupting his life with his smiles and entertaining jibes.

“Woah, babe,” Namor said. “What’s up?”

Loki turned, throwing the crushed cigarette pack at Namor’s face and shoving past him, grabbing his keys as he stormed out of the apartment. That stupid swimmer with his stupid face, completely clueless to the turmoil in Loki’s head.

Why did he keep that moron around? Loki slammed the door as he stepped into his car, shoving his keys into the ignition. Tony was dead. Operation Gilligan was an astounding failure. It was too outdated. The tech probably never worked in the first place.

Loki slammed his fist on the steering wheel, reveling in the sound of the horn echoing in the parking garage. He pulled his hands away, listening to the echoes slowly die around him. Was he really going to give up so soon?

He dug around in his glove box, pulling out the old tablet and powering it up. “Good afternoon, Master Loki,” Jarvis greeted.

“Open Gilligan,” Loki ordered. “And run a scan for me.”

The screen of the tablet flashed colors before a map appeared, revealing the county of Los Angeles. This was a much more accurate map than Tony’s, though that was most likely because Jarvis knew where Loki was, but was still constrained by the program.

“How many satellites are over the city, Jarvis?” Loki asked, running a diagnostic on the program itself. “Scratch that, how many of those satellites are you using to track me?”

“Five, sir.”

Loki’s hand subconsciously ran down to his ribs, feeling where he knew the tracking chip was embedded into him. “Is there any way for you to pinpoint exactly where I am, using just project Gilligan?” Loki asked.

“The software must be updated,” Jarvis answered.

“Do you know how to update it?” Loki asked.

“I am not allowed to update without Master Stark’s consent.”

Loki wanted to bang his head against the steering wheel. Stark always was a stickler for control. Who cares if Jarvis went a little haywire. It’s not like he was going to try taking over the world! “Is there a loophole somewhere?”

Jarvis was silent, much to Loki’s chagrin. He threw the tablet onto the passenger seat and started the car. He wasn’t sure where he was going. All Loki knew was that he needed to get out, go somewhere he can breathe.

“Master Stark has several loopholes, as you call them, still in place that you may be able to use,” Jarvis piped up as Loki got caught in traffic.

Loki turned to the tablet, eyebrows raised. “What kind?” Loki asked.

“You are listed as an author of Project Gilligan,” Jarvis explained. “You are granted equal access to the editing of the program as you see fit.”

Loki wasn’t sure whether to laugh or cry. Perhaps he would be able to find Tony before the month was up. Just maybe.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Look at me, talking around/faking science. woo!


	7. Hope Stays Alive

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Screw the board of directors,” Pepper hissed. “You gave your word. Tony Stark is not dead.”

**June 29, 2029 – Day 50**

Pepper had resigned herself to throwing in the towel. Tomorrow was the last day of the month, and they still hadn’t found Tony. She just had to accept the fact that her employer and old friend was dead.

She held back her sob, steeling herself. She wouldn’t falter at a time like this. She needed to remain strong. If he was dead… well she wouldn’t think of it. She couldn’t. Tony was indestructible, and he would be found.

The insistent buzzing of her doorbell roused Pepper from her dark thoughts. She went to the intercom and asked, “Yes?”

“I found him,” Loki announced, sounding slightly crazed. “Let me up.”

Pepper pressed the door buzzer and in what seemed like seconds, Loki had climbed up six flights of stairs, breathing heavily at her door. Pepper looked at him in astonishment, taking in his ruffled appearance.

Far from the pressed suits and shined shoes, Loki was dressed in a pair of loose sweatpants and an overlarge sweater, a bright orange t-shirt sticking out from underneath. He looked like he hadn’t slept or washed in days.

Loki shoved past her, tapping away at his tablet, eyes focused on a little blinking dot. “I found him,” Loki repeated, taking a breath to calm himself.

“Loki…” Pepper started but Loki shook his head. He wasn’t done yet. Pepper was starting to get concerned. She thought bringing in Tony’s ex would be smart, but Loki was slowly unraveling, and as much as she wanted Tony to come back, she didn’t want to see Loki fall apart if he didn’t .

Maybe she really had given up already.

“Jarvis and I rewrote the program,” Loki told her. “Jarvis, mostly. I don’t know programming. But! And this truly is truth, I have found him, Pepper.” He thrust the tablet into her hands, hovering over her shoulder and smiling triumphantly at the blinking dot on the screen. “That’s him.”

Pepper looked down at the blinking dot and felt tears stinging her eyes. They fell as she finally let herself cry, leaning back into Loki and letting him hold her close.

He petted her head, whispering reassuring words in her ears as she bawled into his shoulder. “He’s really alive,” she sobbed.

“Alive and kicking,” Loki replied. “We’ve got to show Rhodes.”

Some minutes later Loki was sending Rhodey the map, speaking to him over speakerphone. “He’s about 50 miles out of Al Hasakah,” Loki told him.

“Shit,” Rhodey responded. “That’s Ten Rings territory.”

Loki’s jaw clenched and Pepper inhaled sharply. They knew he wasn’t just hanging out in Syria, but the Ten Rings – that just amped the seriousness of the situation. “He’s most likely being held hostage,” Loki whispered, throat suddenly tight.

“How do we even know he’s alive?” Rhodey asked, the one to voice Pepper’s own fears.

“The project – the chip,” Loki clarified, “monitors heart rate, checks vital stats, if Tony was dead, we’d know. He’s alive.”

Rhodey could feel a headache coming on. “I can’t just go there guns blazing,” he admitted, “as much as I’d like to. There are protocols, as well as safety measures to adhere to.”

“Forget the rules,” Loki hissed. “He’s your friend! Go save his ass.”

“I am a Colonel in the United States Air Force, I can’t just fuck the rules, Loki,” Rhodey shouted.

“By the time you arrange a search party, he will be dead,” Loki accused, terminating the call and throwing his phone across the room, pulling his longs legs onto the couch and holding them close, head sandwiched between his legs.

Pepper put a hand on his knee. “He’ll find him.”

But it will be too late, Loki thought. It would all be too late.

* * *

NEW YORK TIMES – 7/8/29

STARK CEO DECLARED DEAD

After weeks of fruitless searching, Stark Industries is declaring Tony Stark dead. Born Anthony Edward Stark on May 29, 1995, the son of inventor and multi-millionaire Howard Stark and model Maria Collins Carbonell…

* * *

** July 8, 2029 – Day 59 **

 Pepper stormed into Obie’s office, slamming the newspaper on his desk. “What is this?” she seethed, staring down at the business man who was startled by her entrance.

Stane glanced down at the paper, reading the headline. “I can explain,” he said.

“We found him!” Pepper shouted. “You promised me.”

“The board – ”

“Screw the board of directors,” Pepper hissed. “You gave your word. Tony Stark is not dead.”

Obadiah sighed, leaning back in his chair. “I don’t have that much pull you know.”

Pepper wanted to scream bullshit but held refrained. She looked down at the headline, DEAD staring back at her. Tony was not dead. She, Loki, and Rhodey hadn’t worked their butts off only for some old men in a board room could tell her to stop dreaming.

“Fix it,” Pepper ordered.

* * *

** July 16, 2029 – Day 67 **

Tony shoveled beans into his mouth like a man starved. He hadn’t eaten in over two days, working on his suit, trying to build it before he ran out of the mojo to keep fighting.

Every day was an endless battle. To continue the resistance or to give in, build the Jericho missile and be killed for his troubles. Every option led to death. Even his escape was laced with the prospect of being caught, of being stopped, of dying before he could walk out of this cave and breathe in the fresh air of freedom once more.

He could hear his captors whisper to each other on days that they checked up on them. It was in a language he didn’t understand, but it was clearly doubt.

A genius like this, where is his progress? How has he not made the Jericho in all this time?

Tony could only come up with so many excuses. He didn’t have the right tools, that wasn’t a good enough piece, that’s broken, he needed an assistant, he can’t be expected to work non-stop without the missile being affected.

They were all working, but for how much longer. They were getting impatient, Tony could feel it. He was so close to escaping, so close to seeing his hard work in action.

His suit was going to work. He just needed a little bit more time. Just a little more, and he and Yinsen would be free.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the super late update. Have I mentioned I got a job? because that literally takes up all of my time. Also, I finished my frostiron bang story! if you want to read it it's called Tie Me Up (Together With You) - and that took up quite a bit of my time. um.. i'm really sleepy, so...
> 
> Aardvark!


	8. Light at the End of the Tunnel

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tony had had delusions before; but alone in the desert, with nothing but guilt and will to survive, it didn’t take long for him to begin muttering to himself, lips chapped and bleeding, skin cracked and covered in dust, responding to people who weren’t there.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'M A HORRIBLE PERSON. DON'T EVEN LOOK AT ME. I've taken forever to update. again. because i'm the worst. But here's the next chapter! i'm already writing ch 9 so it shouldn't take like two months. ahahahaha. i'm so sorry, put down the pitchforks. ;)

**July 31, 2029 – Day 82**

They had run out of patience, and that was fine. It was all fine.

Even when they had come in to threaten, the bald one picking up his sketches, Tony knew it was going to be all fine.

When they had grabbed Yinsen and threatened him, a burning piece of coal being forced onto him, head pushed down, Tony had declared to himself that everything was going to be fine, even when given one day to complete the Jericho missile.

Everything was fine, Tony repeated to himself as he beat the last bits of his suit into submission, the face plate hissing pleasantly as he soaked it into a bucket of water.

This was what he had been working on, he and Yinsen. This was their key to survival, to escape, and nothing was going to stop them.

Spending the rest of his days locked in a cave, clawing for breath and life, that was not how he wanted to live, or die.

They had caught on quicker than he had thought, banging on the steel doors, demanding – demanding what, Tony didn’t know, but they had quickly met their demise, which was perfect, seeing as Tony was strapped into his machine, Yinsen struggling with simple computer codes.

But it was fine. Everything was fine.

And when Yinsen had gone to buy time, Tony tried to remind himself that it was fine.

Fine, fine, fine.

His suit worked, and he was going to find Yinsen before he did something stupid, like die. How easy it would be for him to die.

That stupid old man. That brave, stupid man.

Vengeance was sweet.

Shooting at those terrorists, murderers, and cold blooded killers, feeling his muscles ache with the weight of his suit, but he had calculated that too, and it was barely there, the suit taking on that heavy burden.

They were scared of him, and that suited him just fine, leading them deeper into their caves, running in fear, screaming and shouting in languages Tony didn’t know.

And when he found Yinsen, lying near the entrance, near their exit, bleeding out, so weak and helpless, Tony couldn’t remember why he had thought everything was going to be fine.

Everything was not fine. It was never going to be fine. But he had sacrificed himself (and it was unfair, because if anyone deserved to die it was Tony; what had he ever done for anyone?) and so Tony was going to make it worthwhile.

Bullets ricocheting off of him, answering with fire and fury, Tony wanted to turn his head to the sky and laugh. The Ten Rings’ camp going up in flames, and at the center was Tony. One man taking on a squadron, an army; flying out of there with the assurance that everything was not fine, but it could be.

It would have to be.

* * *

“We found him,” Rhodey had told Pepper. “He’s alive. We found him.”

The tears that burst forth were not surprising. Pepper had spent her entire life watching over that stupid man. He was probably one of the few people genuinely concerned about him, as sad as that was, and he was alive.

Alive.

* * *

**August 2, 2029 – Day 84**

Tony had had delusions before. A bad night with a bottle of absinthe, a near overdose of LSD, cocaine, heroin, you name it, he took it.

But alone in the desert, with nothing but guilt and will to survive, it didn’t take long for him to begin muttering to himself, lips chapped and bleeding, skin cracked and covered in dust, responding to people who weren’t there.

He couldn’t breathe and any second he was going to die from thirst, heat stroke. His limbs would fall off and he’d just be a scattering of limbs in the desert, picked up by some wandering animal.

He heard the voices of his friends, of his lovers, of his life. It was like they were there, guiding him, teaching him, pleading with him. Their words indistinct, but he couldn’t help but feel he had failed them.

He had escaped, and for what? To die at the hands of nature as opposed to the enemy.

Wrapping his shirt around his head he stumbled through the desert, the hot sun baring down at him.

“You look ridiculous.”

“Shut up,” Tony muttered, swatting at the impeccably dressed illusion of Loki trailing behind him.

“You could have at least thought of packing some provisions,” Loki continued. “At least a water bottle. You built a metal suit in a cave, but couldn’t even pack a water bottle.”

Tony kicked sand at him, grinning in glee at the affronted look on Loki’s face. He pouted, kicking right back, sand no doubt getting in his Italian leather shoes.

“Now you’re just being immature,” Loki huffed.

“I already know I’m an idiot,” Tony replied. “You don’t have to remind me.”

Loki chuckled, deep and low in his throat and beamed down at Tony, bumping their shoulders together.

Tony swallowed, sand the only thing in his throat, dried and begging for relief. “Did you miss me? Mourn me? Even just a little?” he asked quietly, stopping in his tracks. “Do you care?”

Loki walked on, on and on until he was out of sight and Tony was alone once again.

He didn’t talk to him the other times he showed up. He was a mirage, a hallucination, and he wanted fewer things to talk to his psychiatrist about after this.

The helicopters over his head were a relief, and he probably didn’t care if they were the Ten Rings, as long as it meant water and food and escape from the sun.

He fell to his knees and smiled up at the face of Rhodey. God, he missed that man. But was it even real?

It had to be. The constant whirring of the helicopters blades, the crispness of the soldiers surrounding him, so much unlike the Loki that had been tailing him for the past hour.

“Next time you ride with me,” Rhodey said, falling to his knees as well and gathering him into a bone crushing hug, relief rushing through Tony as he just lay himself against his friend, so glad that he wasn’t dreaming this all up.


	9. Now You Take My Advice

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tony returns from Iran a different man.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AUGH SORRY ABOUT THE WAIT!!! i've had this on my computer for months, i ain't gonna lie to you. And I was finally able to finish it up. so yay!!   
> Hope you enjoy it. i added some fluffy goodness. ahahahahaha

NEW YORK TIMES – 8/2/29

TONY STARK ALIVE, FOUND IN IRANIAN DESERT

Only weeks after being declared dead by Stark Industries, Tony Stark has been found, alive and well. A small team led by Colonel James Rhodes, located Stark wandering Dasht-e Kavir, suffering from dehydration, heat stro….

* * *

Pepper wiped the tears off her cheeks, checking her face  in her compact. Only slightly red, nothing too noticeable.

She shut the compact and shoved it back into her purse, handing it off to Happy, who put it in the back of the car.

They waited in silence, Pepper anxiously checking her phone every other minute or so, waiting for a response from Loki. All of her calls and texts went unanswered. The man refusing to acknowledge the news with so much as a kind word.

Tony was _alive_ , and for the life of her, Pepper couldn’t see why Loki would wash his hands of this whole ordeal. They wouldn’t have even found him without his help.

She knew how much Tony meant to him. So why the radio silence?

It didn’t make sense.

Down the airfield, Pepper could just make out Tony’s plane landing. He was here. He was so close and Pepper couldn’t stop the tears that fell from her eyes. She groaned, holding her face to the sky and fanning her eyes in futile attempt to stay cool.

_Would he be crying beside her?_ she wondered.

The plane slowly drove closer and Pepper put on a smile. She didn’t have time to think about what if’s and could be’s. She had to focus on here and now, on Tony.

“Your eyes are red. Crying for your long lost boss?” Tony asked, arm in a sling, Rhodey steadying him with a hand on his back.

Pepper snorted, containing her laughter. He was alive. The one thought that she couldn’t wrap her head around. He was alive and standing before him. She wanted nothing more than to wrap her arms around him. She wanted to tell him how she never stopped believing, not for a second.

Instead she said, “Tears of joy. I hate job hunting.” _I missed you._

“Yeah, well, vacation’s over.” _I missed you, too._

\--

“What?” Loki snapped at his secretary who stood there nervously, hands anxiously picking at the little flowers embroidered on her dress.

“A press conference,” she repeated. “At Stark Industries’ weapons plant. In an hour.”

“He landed fifteen minutes ago,” Loki hissed, tapping his pen against his desk. He wanted nothing more than to ignore her, pretend that what Stark did (and was currently doing) didn’t matter.

But he had invested too much time into the idiot’s survival to just ignore him now. Not to mention Pepper wouldn’t stop texting him. “Clear my schedule,” Loki grumbled.

His secretary smiled, nodding her head diligently. “Right away, sir.”

* * *

“Tony, what’s going on?” Rhodey asked, pulling at his friend’s arm. Stane was introducing him at the podium they had erected for the occasion.

Rhodey was no idiot. He knew something was going on, and he needed to know just exactly what it was before everyone else. Best friend code.

He had respected Tony’s space since he found him in the desert. He had gone through some traumatic shit and Rhodey knew he needed some breathing room. But now they were back in business, so to speak, and he needed some reassurance from his pal. What could he possibly announce at this moment?

It just didn’t make any sense.

Tony tried pulling off his sling, but Rhodey stopped him, swatting his arm away. “Talk to me, man.”

“Everything’s fine,” Tony told him, the lie so apparent, Rhodey wasn’t sure whether he should be hurt that his best pal was hiding something from him.

Tony patted Rhodey on the back and stepped into the swarm of reporters, that disarming smile in place, the one that seemed genuine, but Rhodey knew was just an act. Rhodey knew that half of who Tony was was this façade, but to use it on him; that was a first.

“Can we sit?” Tony asked, sitting down in front of the podium, the news reporters sitting down on the floor with him, casting confounded looks at one another.

Far in the back, away from the hubbub stood Loki, his hair slightly disheveled, his trousers not as tightly pressed, eyes sporting dark shadows. “What are you up to?” he mumbled to himself, eyes focused solely on Stark who was staring down at his hands, looking like the lost boy he had known so long ago.

“I never got to say goodbye to my father,” Tony stated. He blinked, the impact of those words really hitting home. “I didn’t get to say goodbye.”

He looked up at the crowd and met Loki’s eye. “There are lots of things I wish I could have said,” Tony continued, turning his attention to Stane, sitting beside him. “Could have asked. How he felt about what his company did; if he ever had doubts.” He scratched his chin, letting out a self deprecating chuckle.

“Or maybe, he’s exactly who we all think he was in the magazines and news reports,” Tony continued, stumbling to his feet, ignoring the arm that Obie had shot out to keep him upright.

He stood behind the podium, looking down at the news reporters, eager journalists, eyes blazing. “I saw young Americans killed by the very weapons I created to defend them and protect them. And I saw that I had become part of a system that is comfortable with zero-accountability.”

A young reporter raised his hand. “What happened over there?”

Loki wanted to go over there and strangle the idiot. What the hell did you _think_ happened over there? You think he spent three months in Iran playing Chinese checkers, drinking Mai Tais, and going for a swim in the hotel pool?

A similar thought passed through Tony’s mind, but he just shook his head. “I had my eyes opened,” he admitted. “I came to realize that I had more to offer this world than just making things _blow up_.” A small grin crossed his face and Loki felt his heart stop.

No. Oh god.

“And that is why, effective immediately, I am shutting down the weapons manufacturing division of Stark Industries.”

Tony could hardly get out the last sentence, a surge of noise filling the room, journalists raising their mics, shouting for a comment, demanding details.

He was man handled away from the crowd, Stane hauling Tony out of the conference room quickly, Pepper at their heels.

There was a mass of confusion and Loki could do nothing but stand there, gawping.

* * *

JULY 16, 2014

 

“It’s so hot,” Loki whined, laying on a wooden pool lounger, staring up at the green umbrella shading him from the hot summer sun.

Tony grinned, chin nestled between his folded arms, floating at the edge of the pool. “Then get in the pool,” he said, pushing off the edge and wading backwards.

Loki harrumphed, nose in the air. “No thanks.”

Honestly, what was the point of suggesting they go swimming if they didn’t actually swim. Unless Loki wanted to do _other_ activities, then that was also cool. It’s not like anyone was around to see….

“Get away, it’s too hot,” Loki said, pushing Tony away, sneering at the water droplets Tony had left on his too pale chest.

Tony pouted, throwing himself into the lounger beside him. “You’re no fun.”

Loki chuckled, getting off of his chair and falling atop of Tony, his chin digging into his boyfriend’s stomach. “You love me anyway.”

“Yeah,” Tony sighed. “I guess I do.” Loki pinched him and Tony shrieked.

They quickly fell quiet, taking in the chance to be together. They had spent the school year apart, Tony at MIT, Loki at Caltech. And apart from Skype calls, text messages, Snapchat, and coming home for the holidays, they barely had any time together.

But this, this was nice. It was simple. It was like being back in high school. Well, a little less drama than high school, admittedly. But that was a good thing.

“What are you doing?” Loki asked, feeling Tony’s muscles move beneath him.

Tony grunted, doodling on his StarkPhone. “Dad asked me to look at his new weapon designs.”

Loki opened his eyes, sitting up to look at Tony’s work. To Loki, it looked like a simple handgun, but Tony had explained the special modifications, the caliber – all those details that Loki didn’t really understand. But he knew that it was something more.

It was, after all, a Stark gun.

“Why?” Loki asked, curiosity peaked. Not that he thought Tony didn’t have the talent, or skill, but things were still a little strained between father and son since he and Tony started dating.

There were times where Howard acted like there was nothing going on between the two, setting Tony up on blind dates with his coworkers’ daughters. Then there were times where he couldn’t look at Tony without blowing up.

On the few occasions they got along, it was always work related, but Howard had never handed over his schematics to Tony, giving him more secretarial duties than anything else.

“He’s decided that I need more responsibilities in the company,” Tony answered. “I’m pretty sure he’s gonna make me head of R&D. He’s been handing more and more of the sciency stuff to me.”

“Really?” Loki asked, surprised. Tony hadn’t told him that. “Since when?”

“Uh… Christmas?” Tony replied, setting his phone aside. “You jealous or something?”

Jealous? Please. Loki was perfectly content with his own duties at Löfgren Corp. Helblindi was going to inherit everything. Loki was just the poster child, and that was perfectly fine with him.

“You should show him your new app,” Loki said instead.

“Yeah,” Tony trailed off, scratching at his tanned stomach, other hand running soothing circles down Loki’s back. “He doesn’t care much unless it’s for our weapons division.”

Loki sat up, knees straddling Tony’s own. The other boy looked up at him in confusion, but still grinned, “Am I too cute or something?”

“He’s gonna make you head of the weapons division,” Loki said.

“I’ve got the knack for it,” Tony told him. “He’s not going to put his golden boy with the other schmucks making washing machines for suburban housewives who want to gossip at their book club about how much more energy efficient and futuristic their appliances are.”

“You should shut it down.”

“But what about the housewives?” Tony joked.

“I mean the weapons division,” Loki responded, his seriousness tampering Tony’s own jesting  mood.

Tony reached for Loki, placing his hands on his cheeks. He looked questioningly at his boyfriend, eyebrows quirked together. “45% of our profits come from our contract with the U.S. Military,” Tony explained. “No weapons, no money.”

“It’s so uncouth,” Loki said, swatting Tony’s hands away.

“You’re uncouth.”

“Very mature,” Loki grumbled.

Tony wrapped himself around Loki, pulling him towards himself, the two tangled on the same chair. “It’s the nature of the beast, Lokes,” Tony explained. “I’ll inherit a weapons company, and you’ll inherit a clean energy company. We can’t just change it. The world would lose its shit.”

“I don’t think you’re trying very hard,” Loki grumbled.

Tony laughed, biting Loki’s clavicle. “Maybe I will, huh? Someday. But right now, I can think of better things to put my mind too.”

And before Loki knew it, he was thrown into the swimming pool, Tony guffawing behind him, water dripping down his nose.

 “I’m going to kill you,” Loki hissed, swimming towards Tony, murder in his eyes.

“Oh shit,” Tony yelped, desperately trying to get away, forgetting that compared to Loki, he was a terrible swimmer.

 


End file.
